If anyone EVER tells you otherwise. Kick them. or something. YOU, each and EVERY SINGLE human on this planet has an equal and VALUABLE opinion. Don't forget it. Don't ever forget it. YOU MATTER. Okay? I promise. You do.
I just assume you know what I'm talking about. I do my best to generalize, so it makes sense to everyone. But you know? Maybe sometimes to understand something you've gotta let someone in. Don't just let them take you for face value. Let someone crawl underneath your skin and feel your heartbeat and watch your brain send little shockwave signals to all your muscles. Okay. what I'm about to say is really important. okay? Promise me you won't forget it. That's two promises already. lol. okay here it goes:
when someone invites you under their skin, when they start letting you feel their heartbeat and see their shockwave signals. you BETTER be wanting to be there. If you have ANY doubt about letting that person let you in. STOP RIGHT THERE. DON'T GO IN. THEY DON'T WANT YOU. okay? promise? If you let someone let you in, but you don't even care about anything on the inside? You're just going to HURT them. I promise. So don't go in. Cause once you've let someone in, and they've seen all the shockwaves and they've probably memorized your heart beats sporadic pattern, you aren't going to forget them. But if you let yourself fall into someone because you're bored, you might be able to find your way out. But how could you be THAT selfish? hmm? You just ripped a giant whole in that person you left.
I'm not editing this post, at all... so... I'll apologize in advance if I get all crazy ramble-like.
Summarized last bit: It's really hard to totally let someone into your life. And it's even harder to try and let them go.
I'm all over the place today.
It's important to be able to trust people. But you can't trust everyone. I mean, okay, lol, yes, you can trust most people. But you can't let EVERYONE inside of you. (is this whole INSIDE of you thing starting to sound sexual? haha cause its definitely not supposed to. just had to put that out there.) Okay. So, if you let everyone inside you, you're going to be so full you can't even walk. You can't get out of bed in the morning because you're so heavy. You'd become SO full of everyone that you completely forget which thoughts are yours, and which ones belong to someone else.
So you've gotta find That. One. mmhmm. That's right. I think there realistically is only room for one more person inside an entirely whole other person. So that's a big deal. And you probably spend at least half of your life looking for That. One.
But what if you find that one when you're fifteen? What if you find them when you're twelve? Or what if you spend 38 years looking until you finally find it? hmm?
I feel like I'm rolled up in an air-tight ziplock bag. And I'm trying to explain everything at once right now but I'm all squished up and sealed shut so I'm really not getting anywhere.
GAAHHHH!!!!!!!!
You ever just wanna stand on something really really tall? And just... throw your head back and yell and spin? Does anyone else ever want to do that? lol
People are so easily confused. I bet if you closed your eyes right now and fast forwarded through your entire day you could press pause at at least three still shots and all you could think was; "Wait, What?" Why is that happening? What did I do? Why isn't that me? Why aren't they saying this? Why did they say that instead? Why did they say nothing at all? Is it because of something I did? Am I thinking too much right now? Should I be saying this? What is going on?
Questions. Questions. Questions. every time you ask a question you are confused. not like, dazed and stupid. But you are inquisitive? bad word. uh... when you ask a question (okay, I guess when I ask a question, this is whats going on in my mind, lol I don't really have any clue what happens in your head when you ask a question)
When I ask a question. I'm weighing out all the options for response. I'm like "hmm... well, they could say this, and when they said that, I could respond with this, and if they answered this way it would make what they said earlier make complete and total sense"
But. It's no fun trying to script out every moment. Because you (I) like it the most when something you didn't think could ever happen does. Thats what makes you (me) happy. Being caught off guard, without having time to think. You (I) do best, when I don't have time to use your (my) head.
Because for me (maybe you?) my head is what gets me into trouble. When I do the things I do, I don't think. Not the way I usually do. When I dance, or sing, or play piano or whatever it is I'm doing, I don't think about options. I don't worry about responses. I just DO. And thats when I feel most... me. When I can forget about my head.
So what happens when the person supposed to be giving advice doesn't even have any of her own to take?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Ahaha I love how you critique yourself perpetually throughout your post. You are such a dork ;)
ReplyDeleteI think I do understand what you mean and I'll try to shorten it up a bit: Don't let someone get too close to you unless you both are completely into it or else someone will be destroyed emotionally.
It's happened to me before and it brought me down from the highest high to the lowest of lows in my life.
Also I have had urges to spin and hop on chairs.
I always like to have opinions :)
ReplyDeleteI do believe there is plenty of room inside of us. I've let more than one person in before and, yes it may be overwhelming, but it can also be quite beautiful. Also, the idea of "the one" can scare a lot of people and I recommend you use it with caution. I've had many "the ones" and know I will have more. Your "one" is the one for that moment in time, and there will be others in other moments in time. Each one is perfect for the you that you are at that moment. So I guess it can be said more, there is room for "one" at this moment in time, and also the many, many memories of other ones :) Sorta a bunch of ones.....That made little sense i know :P
Another brain tickler. A method of life that I've agreed upon living is the idea of instead of letting people in to your world and into your heart, just have nothing inside for people to discover and wear it all on the outside. I find that having things "in" creates a barrier between you and people. I don't think it's fair that people have to get passed that barrier to know you. That journey can have you pass up many "ones" and no one wants that.
I say, wear you on the outside. Fully and passionately. Secrets are a waist of time I think.
You live a lot of yourself on the outside and thats how people can see you right away without having to know you. You're a very easy person to say "I feel like I've known you forever" to. So now I say, display all of that which is inside and then you won't run into any issue where people hurt your insides.
Maybe?
I think so anyway :)
live and love!
-isaac
Yes! I think that's actually was what I was trying to get at... but I wanted to say like THE ONE who you DO end up with forever is out there, but you have to have your ONE'S before you find THE ONE. If there is a final ONE out there... which I like to think there is. It's just sort of a scary thought knowing if someone is your ONE and not THE ONE that you're going to have to go through the whole cycle of un-one-ing them. It's scary a thought. So I guess what I was trying to say was for myself. Don't be afraid to let there be a ONE just because I'm afraid of un-one-ing.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're probably completely right about the barrier letting people in and keeping people out causes. It's just when you've got serious secrets that could cause... some serious damage if you didn't keep them in is when it gets super hard to know what to keep in and what's okay to leave on the outside. Secrets suck.
Ps. Thank you for reading these rambles :P It's really cool having someone with their own ideas that are sort of similar that can agree (sometimes?) and improve (more often) what I'm trying to say :P haha! :)