secrets are hard, truths are even harder

editeditedit.SEND.JUST HIT THE DAMN BUTTON. << lol. original title. yeah,yeah. I've already told you to spit. Have you done it? Liked anyone's sweaters? I've started a lot of posts lately, with interesting titles such as... I AM NOT A NUMBER. and ... I swear to God I'm human. hahaa But I haven't done a lot of spitting. I haven't really done a lot of swallowing either though... just a heck of a lot of gurgling and swishing. Gross. Don't waste your time. I know that its hard to take something, that you think is very important, and realize it is just a waste of time. Not that time is ever really wasted. Or spent. Time and I (me and time?) have a very strange relationship. Sometimes he is kind, other times he oppresses me. Most of the time he just dangles in front of my eyes and giggles and the severe confusion he causes. Ps. Yeah, it's almost 2 am again. So... everything happens for a reason. I believe that. It's just when, you don't know that reason, and this thing that happened... or is happening... is taking over your life. You've gotta stop it. You can't let the bad take over. I mean, hey, if it's passion taking over your life? JUMP AROUND AND THROW YOUR ARMS BACK AND YELL. you can spin too if you feel the need. But, I think we've all been there. wallowy... broody... moody... erm.... angsty? Yeah? My friend lent me a book the other day all about the darkside of your horoscope. That's some scary stuff. True stuff. Apparently, its well known I have the attention span of a hyperactive mayfly. Darn, huh? What have I learned lately? It's been a while, no? I'm sorry. Too much gurgling. Too much thinking. Shake it off, get someone to set you straight. Ah, maybe that's what I'll talk about. Secrets are hard, truths are even harder. Unless you are a complete dunce (that's one of the words in one of the songs in one of the shows I'm working on right now hehe it made me laugh) Anyways, if you're a dunce, perhaps you don't realize the problems in your life. For the rest of us, we know, when we wanna 'talk' to someone... for advice, we usually know what they are going to say. We do. We know. I have faith that we know. So, if you don't have any problems; please write a blog so I can read it. If you don't realize you have problems: put on the cap, or keep reading. If you know you have problems: now we can get somewhere. If you know you have problems and you know how to solve them but you tell people about them anyways even though you know they are only going to regurgitate your own advice: hey twin. lol. So, for me. I'm starting to really put myself into these. Perhaps I should take myself out again. Make it more general? Anyways, maybe next time? Okay.. stop talking to yourself Steph.... OKAY. FOR ME! When a problem or issue or feeling or SOMETHING gets so up in your eyeballs that you can't see your eyelashes when you squint, you've gotta find that someone who can set you straight. Who you can tell your (insert word) (issue problem question life outlook) to. Someone who can listen to you, then laugh at you because they know that you know what you should do. Then they reinforce it, and when you say that you already know, they tell you why it makes sense. Those people are important, and its important to be that person for someone else too. It's "hard" to keep everything on the inside. But really? no it's not. Shut up if you tell yourself that. It's easy to swallow everything. What's hard? Spitting. It's HARD. Don't think I don't know. We all swallow sometimes, but we all have to learn to spit. But be careful. Spitting is not a pass-time. Spitting is well thought out and real and meaningful. Spitting is truth. It's not raw or rough or silly. Its just what's there. It's hard to tell someone. It's hard to tell yourself. It's nice if someone can tell you, but only if you be nice back, and listen. It'll hurt after, sometimes... but imagine if you swallowed your whole life? And you finally exploded, and everything you'd ever wanted or thought about spitting got plastered on a wall? That's what's bound to happen if you keep it all inside. So hey. remember the whole, letting people inside of you thing? I think that... different people fit differently. And we are all puzzles, made up of each other. We're not a baby puzzle... with the pictures indented into the wood and a handle on the pieces. But we're not 50000 piece puzzles either. We're a jigsaw. We fit together. We're more than two pieces, and some pieces are bigger than others, and some pieces hold other ones together. But without any pieces, we're all just A piece. You wanna be a puzzle. Puzzles are strong. Find your pieces. Goodnight. I'll continue this later. But I'm pressing post. I don't care if my spelling and my grammar sucks monkey balls. Gasp! I'm sorry english teacher... if you are reading this....