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Everyday is new, and nothing can be defined. I'm in this weird sort of mind set right now. Sometimes when I think, I go all nutso... and have to hold onto something solid so I don't float away.

It happens to me a lot. When you try to tell yourself that something doesn't matter, and then you sort of wonder what does? If this doesn't matter, how come that other thing does? You could think like that for ever. Eventually nothing would matter. Nothing DOES matter, unless you make it matter.

I think the whole point of.... us... of.... it, of, the big picture, is taking things that, being general, don't mean anything, and making them mean something. You can robot your way through life. You can, I do sometimes. But it sucks. Don't let that happen. It's really awful.

If you are anything like me, EVERYTHING matters. But if everything matters, then nothing does. You see where I'm going? We can't have everything all the time, because then we wouldn't be able to want anything and when we got something it wouldn't matter because we'd already have it.

The most important thing is to be present, and to not enable. In order to be real, you have to feel. Things go wrong sometimes, and you have to face that. You have to be honest. If you think that everything is just going to go away and when tomorrow comes you won't have to think about yesterday because it already happened and its out of your control, you need wake up. To really wake up.

If you tell yourself that something doesn't matter, and you don't let yourself feel, if you don't let anything matter, then you're going to turn into metal. We're all going to become robots. Do something different. Don't depend on routine.

I know the feeling that I get when I know something is important to me. I want everyone, everywhere, to be able to feel like that. Okay, now I'm going to contradict myself. I've said everything and I've said nothing matters. This might get confusing.

I'm trying to say that by taking every opportunity and every project and every person and every feeling, and thinking about it, and making it individual, we'll all feel better. By taking a minute, or 15, just to think, and to realize something, would help everyone out. If you don't think, you won't feel. If you don't feel, you won't live. And if you're not living.... you're dead.

I don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of dead people. That's gross. That's terrible. Especially, when we all have the potential to be alive. I'm not talking about breathing, I mean. REALLY alive.

So its our job, it's my job, and its YOUR job, to make things matter. Everything DOES matter. But saying that doesn't make it true. You've gotta take the time to think about things to make them real. You can turn everything into something. Just don't make everything nothing. DON'T ROBOT. Be real.

Say something. DO something. No robots. Okay?

You don't HAVE to do anything. I'm telling you right now that nobody can make you do anything. (Unless they tie strings to you or actually physically force you) You have to WANT to do it. No obligations, everything is choice. Don't freak out, even if its scary. WE control us. Because we ARE us.

Rambleramblerambleramble. Sorry.

Let your brain be active. See what happens.

Drown, and choke. (old post)

just kidding. that one's for Emily. Yeah, she rocks so much she gets to keep her real name.

So. In life, in everyone's life, in my life, and your life, and his life and her life, we want things. We want to KNOW things and FEEL things and we WANT. We KNOW we WANT to FEEL. Instead of always worrying what will happen and fretting over what ifs and perhaps-es. (I know that's not a word) Instead of... gurgling until you explode. say something.